Talk in church

I gave a talk in church last week. Let me know what you think of it.

The earliest memory I have of my father is when I was about 4. My mother had gone somewhere with my older brother and dad was left to care for me. I needed a bath, pajamas and to have my unruly hair brushed. So he filled the tub with water, gave me the soap and left. I took the soap, slicked up the slanted back of the tub and used it as a slid into the water. After that was mastered and a little boring, I slicked up the back, stood on the side in an effort to slide down on my feet. Instead, my feet slid out from under me, by bottom splashed into the water and my head got a firm smack on the side of the tub. I let out a loud cry and my father came rushing in to find most of the tub water on the floor and me holding my head and wailing. He plucked me out of the tub, dried me off, put my pjs on me and went at my hair. Then he took me outside for a walk around the property. I remember my old fashioned flannel nightgown that buttoned all the way up to my neck. I was barefoot and the grass was cold under my feet, my long, blond hair was blowing behind me like Cindy Lipton from the Mod Squad and my father’s hand swallowed my hand. Kids came by and asked to play and dad said no, that I was all his that night and he wasn’t sharing. I felt like I was the most beautiful girl in the world.


I spent most of my childhood running through European museums, parks, black forests, mountain trails and crumbling ruins, just to keep up with my father. He took such big steps and I had such small legs that I couldn’t keep up. But I was not going to let go of his hand and be left behind, so I held on and ran while he led the course.

Another strong memory for me is when my mom went to a painting class and left my sister and I with my dad. Well, my sister and I were teasing our dog and he leapt up to defend himself from us, and his front teeth caught my sister right in the nose and severed it in half. Again there was a scream and this time a dog flying across the room and blood was everywhere. We put a rag on her nose and held it there until my mother came home. She came home, took one look at the nose and knew this required a trip to the emergency room. My dad was kneeling beside my sister’s bed and held her hand in his strong muscular one and he started to cry. I had never seen my father cry before. As he cried, he told my sister how sorry he was that this happened to her and if there was anything he could do to trade places with her he would.

But then there were times, as I grew older and had less time to spend with my father that gap between us seemed to just grow larger by the day. He didn’t hang around much to talk to me because, every time he talked to me, I burst into tears and ran to my room. It got to the point where I didn’t want him to talk to him and he was happy with that arrangement. But I can remember the looks of disapproval when I brought home a bad grade or was mean to one of my siblings or not as helpful to my mother. I hated those looks. I often felt like my father did not love me. That he did not like me the way I was. Everyone else thought I was great! Friends parents thought I was so polite and smart and kind. Why couldn’t my father see that? Why couldn’t he just accept me the way I was?

These are feelings many of us have had with our fathers, or uncles, or older brothers or whomever is our authority figure. The stories I have told are not unique. The situations are, but the basis is the same. How can it be that so many people from so many different walks of life can relate to the same type of stories?

I believe that it comes from the fact that our Earthly lives are patterned after our eternal lives. Just like we have a father on earth, we have a father in heaven. Just like we have earthly fathers with whom we share facial features or personal characteristics, we have a heavenly father with whom we share physical characteristics and spiritual features and characteristics.

I look more like my father and his side of the family than my mother and hers. He has blue eyes, and so do I. He is a hard worker and very determined and so am I. Another characteristic that we both share is that as soon as you tell us we cannot do something or that it’s impossible, well will show you the seven different ways we can do it and that it is possible. One of my children also has this characteristic so we can see how it goes from one generation to the next.

But what of our Heavenly Father? What are his characteristics and do we see those in ourselves?

From the New Testament we know that Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, have a physical presence. They stand in one place at one time, as the New Testament disciple Stephen testified: “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.”7

We also know that the Father has a voice. As recorded in Genesis and the book of Moses, Adam and Eve “heard the voice of the Lord God, as they were walking in the garden, in the cool of the day.”8

We know that the Father and the Son have faces, that He stands, and that He converses. The prophet Enoch declared, “I saw the Lord; and he stood before my face, and he talked with me, even as a man talketh one with another.”9

We know that God and His Son have bodies, in form and parts like ours. From the book of Ether in the Book of Mormon, we read, “And the veil was taken from off the eyes of the brother of Jared, and he saw the finger of the Lord; and it was as the finger of a man, like unto flesh and blood.”10 Later the Lord revealed Himself, saying, “Behold, this body, which ye now behold, is the body of my spirit; and … I [will] appear unto my people in the flesh.”11

We know that the Father and the Son have feelings for us. The book of Moses records, “And it came to pass that the God of heaven looked upon the residue of the people, and he wept.”12

We have the same characteristics as our Father in Heaven. He has, of course perfected them where we are still working on them. I think that knowing that Heavenly Father is a being with a body and a face that looks like ours is comforting. How difficult would it be to seek guidance, direction and forgiveness from a floating mass that has no form?

All this sound well and good, but what about the times in my life where I felt that my own father didn’t love me the way I was, that he didn’t accept me? As a parent myself now, I realize that the reason my father couldn’t accept me the way I was, was because he knew I was better than what I showed. He knew I was smarter and kinder than what I was currently doing. He knew what I was capable of, even though I, as yet, did not know. Why did he always expect so much out of me? Because he knew I was capable of it.

Why does our Heavenly Father give us so many difficult circumstances to overcome? Because He knows that we have it in us to overcome and grow from those circumstances. Many people love to quote that “God never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it.” I looked all over the scriptures once and I couldn’t find that phrase. At the time, I was going through the worst experiences of my life. The life and the marriage that I had worked so hard at and believed so strongly in, was over. I had children that needed more than just to be fed and clothed. They needed to survive and they needed the skills to continue surviving. The needed to believe that I wouldn’t leave them. That I was strong enough to handle even their burdens on my shoulders. It was all just more than I could stand! And one night, in a fit of crying, I pulled out my patriarchial blessing. The las paragraph reads, “you will have difficulties from time to time, but none of these will be particularly difficult for you to handle.” What, was he kidding me? What else could possibly be more difficult to handle than what I was currently handling?

1. I found in 1 Cor. 10: 13

13 There hath no temptation ataken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be btempted above that ye are able; but will with the ctemptation also make a way to descape, that ye may be able to ebear it.

Just like my earthly Father expected a lot from me and knew what I was capable of, so does my Heavenly Father.

And just like both always love me with a love that I cannot even comprehend, they don’t always like the choices I make.

It says in John,

“And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments.

“He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.

“But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.

“He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.” (1 Jn. 2:3–6.)

My father has always had a great reputation. His word is his bond. He has integrity like no one I have ever known. He has worked hard to have that reputation. When the actions of one of his children brought my Father’s reputation into question, he was livid. Our Heavenly Father has also built up a reputation for himself and those that say they Love Him, need to keep his commandments and show, by word, as well as deed, what it means to be a Child of God.

Elder Bernard P. Brockbank said, Knowing God is related to keeping his commandments. Knowing God must come by direct revelation from God. You cannot know by the power of flesh and blood.



To know God, you must walk in the light of life. To know God as a living child of God, we should know our relationship to him, our divine potential, and we should know that in knowing God there is great responsibility to respect and love and follow his counsel and his doctrines and his commandments and to grow as a child to become more godlike.



There are times where I have rationalized bad behavior. Made excuses for not living true to my self. It is in those moments, that I prove to everyone around me, that I do not truly know God. I do not truly believe in him. For times when I have brought my true beliefs into question, I am very sorry. Many of us justify bad behavior with the excuse that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. This is true. But if we know our Heavenly Father, then we know what our potential is and we know what we are capable of and we know that cop outs are unacceptable.

I can tell you now, with full conviction, that I know my Father Ron ruzic. I know why he’s cranky, when he is. I know why he’s withholding. I know why he hides in his computer room when all of us show up at his house. I would hide too if there were that many emotional women in my kitchen! I know my father because I have lived and watching him my whole life I know my heavenly father, not because I have watched him in the physical. I know him because I talk to him. I pray and Ilisten. Every experience I havd I write down in my journal. This way, when I feel most alone and lonely, I can look back at all the ways Heavenly Father has answered my prayers. How many time he expressed love to me even though I wasn’t always listening. I know him because he wanted to take my pain away, so he sent his only son to suffer bleed and die for me. I know him beacause when life gets to rough, I place my hand in his and let him lead and guide me. Just like with my earthly father, my heavenly father makes me believe that I am the most beautiful girl in the world; I can do and be anything; I can rise to which my potential is and possibly surpass it

Brother Uchdorf said, Gaining this knowledge is ultimately the quest of all God’s children on the earth. If you cannot remember believing in God or if you have ceased to believe or if you believe but without real conviction, I invite you to seek a testimony of God now. Do not be afraid of ridicule. The strength and peace that come from knowing God and having the comforting companionship of His Spirit will make your efforts eternally worthwhile.

Even more, with your own testimony of God, you will be able to bless your family, your posterity, your friends, your own life—all those you love. Your personal knowledge of God is not only the greatest gift you will ever give, but it will bring you the greatest joy you will ever have.

. It is my prayer, brother and sisters that all of you will come to know God, your eternal father.